THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
