Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
