Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
