Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
