I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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