would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no you cant smoke seaweed
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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