He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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