Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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