Im at strip club and am horny
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You were trust falling into bushes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
