the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
