I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
someone owes me an orgasm
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
