I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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