Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
