What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
