i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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