We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
