everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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