Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize