I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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