everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
