I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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