Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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