I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize