I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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