I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
