what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
