So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
