I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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