I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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