I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
