i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just pee around me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
