well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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