we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
