His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
