I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Buhtt sex?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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