i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This is my gift to your gina
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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