it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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