I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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