Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
