Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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