i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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