you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
