Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
