If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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