loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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