If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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