now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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