I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
