So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
