guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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