He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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