she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Enjoy the penises
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
