is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
