Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
