Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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