Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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