why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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