I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
