I hate all girls vehemently.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
