As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You made out with two different species that night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize