saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
