it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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